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| Excerpt form my book- character flashback- I'd like some feedback, please? Starter info: Amaya has long, white hair, blue eyes, is a prince, and in this flashback, is seven. ----------- Bent over the molded walls of a stone basin, the rolling reflection of Amaya’s small, cherubic face shimmered atop the pristine fountain waters, spotted by the floating lotuses and pacing fish. Pushing back his long sleeves, Amaya dipped both his tiny hands into the cool water, chasing the fish away and petting the smooth basin floor. Falling from behind his ears, a lock of fine, angelic hair touched the water’s soft laps, catching upon a canary lotus. Spying two, little girls of similar age dressed in lavish robes and holding dainty parasols peering into the tranquil waters a few paces away, a playful grin broke Amaya’s pink cheeks into dimples as he squirmed with liveliness. Scooping his hands just along the glittering surface, he sent a spray of fountain water flying over the two girls and their parasols, splashing their silken dresses and dour faces. Dropping their parasols, the two girls gaped at their sodden robes and dripping noses, immediately wiping their faces and turning red with shock. Huddling together, they gave Amaya dirty looks, the older stamping a foot at the seven-year-old prince. “See what you did? Now our maids will have to bathe and dress us again! Why would you throw water on us?” The ebony-haired girl shrieked, her blue eyes infuriated. Shaking her head, the other, white-haired girl crossed her arms in resent. Frowning, Amaya shrugged, wiping his wet arms on his robes without care. “I just wanted to play.” Amaya admitted guiltily, fussing uncomfortably with his silver crown. “I do not have anyone to play with at my palace.” He sniffed, feeling shunned. Unsatisfied, the girls back further away from him, shielding themselves with their quaint parasols. “If you wanted to play, you could have said something. We would have gotten the chessboard; now we’re dripping wet.” The white-haired girl huffed. “Why are you here? I thought you and Lady Ta’al only visited when father wanted to see you.” She questioned warily. “Father always wants to see me; I am the crown prince.” Amaya orated, repeating the title he often heard others call him. “Father never wants to see anyone.” The older girl sneered. “He has other things to do; that’s why we have handmaids, idiot.” Amaya scowled with hurt, unsure yet believing in the girl’s words. Searching their flowery surroundings, Amaya scanned the vast, tiled courtyards for his mother, distressed when he could not find her. “Go sit over there, we don’t want to play with you. It’s bad enough that our handmaids are making us be by you until Lady Ta’al is done talking with father.” The girl scathed, pointing to a stone bench beneath a bower. “I hear she’s in trouble; father always talks about how all she does is whine about Lord Dai being mean to her.” The other joined in. “Prince Amaya!” A thunderous, ear-splitting roar rang out from above; birds scattered nearby, and the two girls paled at the looming face. Turning around, Amaya raised his chin to the walkway atop one of the imposing stone walls that sectioned the spread of courtyards into many, private alcoves, gazing at the formidable, frigid presence that tapped thick fingers along the bridge banister. Back turned to the sun, the omnipresent emperor surveyed his majestic courtyards like a hawk, alone upon the bridge. The lantern-jawed face was set in a scowl, bemused with the young prince, unhappy. “Stop that splashing; only heathen guyren play in dirty water.” The dark voice grumbled, golden crown gleaming in the summer sun. “Follow your sisters, then you may behave like proper royalty.” The grave tone instructed. “Where is mother?” Amaya piped, growing anxious without her comforting touch. “Occupied.” The Emperor muttered humorlessly. Panicky, Amaya began to bite his lip, in need of his mother. “I want mother.” Amaya blurted, his heart racing. The stony father ignored him. “Princess Chinyere, Devika, take Prince Amaya elsewhere; teach him how good guyren play.” He demanded, gripping the banister. Moaning, the two girls pleaded otherwise. “What heresy is this? Obey your Emperor; forget those damp dresses and entertain the crown prince. You are his playthings when he visits, now do your duty.” The raven-haired man demanded. “Yes, father.” Chinyere and Devika bowed their heads and curtsied, quiet as their father, the Emperor sashayed along the bridge, glowering at the two girls with grimness, as dominant off his throne as he was on. Growling beneath his breath, the Emperor shook his head with frustration, muttering aloud before slipping away, into a coppice of dense trees. “Monstrous behavior,” the Emperor seethed, “what a disgraceful guy.” Glancing at Amaya, the two girls sighed and bowed to him, sulking as they began to lead Amaya away from the fountain and back through the courtyards, back to the imperial palace. Although disappeared, the emperor’s icy presence lingered in |
| my dear, you have a jaw-dropping talent. This reminds me a ton of my series I'm working on. I'm actually in awe and I've never been that stoked over anyone's writing before. If you don't continue writing this, I will have to go into a deep depression. =( Please continue AWESOME job. I wouldn't change a thing. =D I can clearly tell the Emperor is self centered in his own greatness. He feels he is righteous. The young prince is almost an average boy at heart, still playful and attached to his mother. Everything fits perfectly. =) |
| How do I add humour to this story? Story Plan- Plot- Girls best friend (and neighbour) moves out, odd family moves in, girl uses friend’s old spare key to explore the house while family out, finds door that didn’t used to be there when her friend lived there, finds secret underground library, reads titles, finds out they are witches, befriends son, he tries to teach her the art of sorcery. Ending- (Leads to sequel) Spell goes badly wrong when attempting to open portal, littlest guy of the witch family vanishes into Shadow World (Extra sensory perception/Break in space, time continuum) when trying to open portal. Books indicating they are witches (do not list all at same point in story)- Magyk through the ages, The History of Magyk, Charms and Enchantments, Opening the Portals, Magyk for guys, DIY potion making, the many uses of crystals, The Ultimate-Everything Sorcery Book, The Cauldron cook book Vol. l & Vol. ll, Mastering Magyk, the annotated guide to spells and curses, why does mummy fly? - Answers to calm your young warlock’s worries, collecting crystals- a hobby for eternity, the art of reincarnation, charms and enchantments to leave your mates spellbound! Characters- Main- Aralayah Best Friend- Callie-Anne Aralayah’s Mum- Lilly Aralayah’s Dad- Robert Teacher- Mr Cole Bully- Rosa Witch Mother- Cobweb (known as Matilda when outside home so inconspicuous) Witch Father- Adoeamros (Ross) Twins- Girl- Friday Boy- Thirteen Witch son- Twilight Witch Daughter- Enchantment Pet Tarantula- Webby Character Descriptions- Aralayah- Nick Name- Ari Age- Thirteen Looks- Olive skin, dirty blonde hair, brown eyes, small, slim Personality- Kind, sensitive, adventurous, nosey Lives in- ??? Callie-Anne- Nick Name- Cal Age- thirteen Looks- Small, mousey brown hair, green eyes Lives- moved Rosa- Age- doesn’t matter Looks- perfect. Personality- MEAN, MEAN, MEAN! Aralayah’s Mother- Lilly Age- doesn’t matter Looks- brown hair blue eyes small and round Personality- is one of those people who you can’t lie to, not only because you feel bad, but also because she can TELL. Aralayah’s Father- Robert Age- doesn’t matter Looks- brown hair, portly, red faced green eyes Personality- very strange sense of humour…the ‘no-one-understands-a-thing-you-are-sayi… humour. Mother of Witches- Known as- To family- Cobweb Outside the house- Matilda Age- doesn’t matter Looks- Navy-blue-purple hair to shoulders in crazy tangles, black eyes, beautiful features, tall and slim. Personality- Loving, easy going, caring, sweet, motherly Father of Witches- Adoeamros Or Ross for short Age- doesn’t matter Looks- jagged black hair, black eyes, really pale skin Personality- mysterious, we don’t see much of him as he is always in his study trying to make a potion that will enable people to take any form they want once taken Twins- Girl- Friday- Ebony knee length black hair, deep violet eyes, pale skin Very strange daring and unnerving Boy- Thirteen- Bleach blond shaggy hair, azure eyes, pale skin Very strange sensible Youngest witch boy- Twilight 13 Dark brown lopsided floppy hair, grey eyes, very pale skin, looks like it was rubbed with talcum powder. Playful, striving, stubborn Youngest witch girl- Enchantment 8 Fiery red curls in top notch so they fall in a puff around her head, petite, green – the green you always associate with envy, skin coloured like the cream of old lace- very pale. Powers- only one in family with a natural power- to reflect someone else’s appearance onto herself. Personality- cute. Cute. Cute….did I mention…cute? Pet spider Name- Webby… |
| Enchantment looked around with a big puzzled look to see where she was. She set on a red Vinyl stool, her elbows resting on a long counter. she was setting in a old Chrome and Neon Diner, like out of the 30`s, The floor was covered with black and white checkered tiles, A large shinny old Juke box in the corner was playing a song she had never heard before, a women in a sweet voice was singing " how much is that doggy in the window'' Ruff ruff " the one with the waggly tail". humming along with the song, Enchantment walked, almost dancing over to look out a large glass window. and she was shocked to see that the sky was a deep purple,and the paved parking lot in front of the old Diner was blood red. She turned at the sound of a voice, A funny looking little old man dressed in white cloths wearing a cooks hat that was way too small for his head was looking at her. " I bet you a bottom dollar, that your hunger enough to eat a horse'" he said as he did a little jig tapping his feet on the black and white floor. She said " why yes Sir I am hunger", "but I don`t think I can eat a horse " he motioned for her to sit down on one of the stools in front of the counter. He magically produced a big gold bowl and placed in down in front of her, "This" he told her "was his great 23 bean soup". she studied the bowl of steaming soup, her hunger drove her to pick up a gold spoon and started eating. the door flew open with a bang, she jumped and turned around to see a handsome man with black hair and next to him was a Beautiful Blonde lady dressed in a long silver gown, the man was dressed in a white jump suit with a blue Eagle stitched on the front and he was wearing a large belt buckle almost as big as a football, he nodded at Enchantment and with a big smile said " how are you little darling" the lady said " hi dear" and they went over to a red table, the guy kicked the chrome juke box lightly with his foot. and a song started playing. a man was singing " you ain`t nothing but a hound dog" "just a crying all the time" you ain`t never caught a rabbit and you ain`t no friend of mine". Enchantment looked at the little man and ask him, what was this place? where am I? the little man smiled and said "well dear" this is the world in waiting" "is`nt it a lovely place". She asked him what he meant by World in waiting. he leaned real close and said "well this is where you go into waiting to see what is going to happen to you" " you see dear, this where you come if you hurt yourself, and you die" by accident or any means if you did`nt take care of yourself" he whispered too her see that young man there and the Blonde lady, " that my dear is ELVIS and she is Miss Marlyn Monroe. she thought oh yes her dear Mommy had pictures of them they were famous. the door flew open with a bang a loud bang, she jumped inside and out. she turned to see a small man dress in a black trench coat, wearing a funny looking Little mustache and he stinked to high heaven. he slowly walked back and slid into a rear corner booth. a dark cloud hung over him. she whispered why are these people here. the little man told her that this is where you come if you died by your own hand or did`nt take good care of yourself in the land of the living. see he told her that young man and lady did`nt take good care of their selves they both used drugs and accidentally killed themselves, the dark man there killed himself. she turned and asked who is that dirty man. the little man told her to stay away from that one, he is evil, that my dear his HITLER, she slowly swallowed and said "Hitler the guy that killed millions of men, women and guyren. the little man lowed his face even with hers and looked her in the eyes "Yes" "that is him alright" he told her there was a women who came in with him, but she never comes out of her room. she thought for a minute and ask, "Well !, Why am I hear I`m not dead" am I? the little man told her No! your not dead, and we are going to find out why your here. I know a man here, a good man his name is John Wayne, he will help you out of this mess you got yourself in. mean while back in the land of the living, everyone was searching for her, worried because it would soon be pitch dark, and they would have to wait until morning to look for her again. well, I`ll stop you don`t have to use any of this I was just having fun, I have not wrote anything for years, I loved your story, I don`t think it has too be funny, but I thought maybe this would be a good story line back and forth. your story is good .you keep at it, and don`t you ever give up, OK? you very good BYE, God I had fun useing my old mind, Thanks for letting me play.. I thought it would be neat to have Elvis, miss monroe and John wayne fighting Hitlers dark forces that he had took control over in the land Of Waiting. to get enchantment make to the land of the living, and Elvis, Monroe, and John come with her back tp the land of the living, and they are so surprised the way America has changed, and to learn their all still famous after all these years. and there is a very sad ending with the three having to return to the land of waiting. |
| Antm Makeovers!!?!?!? I know all the girls makeovers.Here they are: Lisa - long chestnut brown extensions Ambreal - buzz cut Heather - Norelle (Cycle 3) cut with bangs Chantal - edgier layered cut Ebony - bob cut with sash bangs Jenah - long wavy hair Janet - Natalie Portman inspired short pixie Victoria - colored dark red, volumized Saleisha - Rihanna inspired bangs, same length Sarah - dirty blonde, 3 inch-cut Bianca - hair colored dark brown,weave taken off, shorter layered cut I found this on wikipedia- What do you think of the makeovers?? |
| Heather is gonna look so cute! I dont want janet to cut her hair! although she may pull it off well! Ambreal is gonna cry...i can feel it! |
| How's my book so far? [Opinions&Criticism, please!]? Hi there(: I've started a book and I'd love your opinions and criticism. (: Thanks. One The gray cement school sidewalk blurs as tears sting my eyes and drop from my cheeks. I feel my cheek burning and I don’t have to look in a mirror to know it’s quickly growing a dark crimson red. Stifling a sob, I quickly turn my face and hastily wipe the tears around my eyes with the backs of my hands. Suddenly, arms are awkwardly tangling themselves around my small, petite body. I flinch and then I hear him speaking softly into my ear, “I’m sorry, Elle. Now, don’t look at the group of people over there, just close your eyes and pretend I’m calming you down or something...” I roll my eyes, but obey with a sigh. We stand there awkwardly for a few more seconds before I push him away from me, picking up my bag, and then I dash down the sidewalk. I didn’t care where I was going, just as long as I was far away possible from that abusive psycho-path. I distinctly heard my boyfriend yell something at me from far away, but I was already crossing the road to Dan’s house. Dan John Merrick is my best friend. He’s not who you’d call the hottest guy in the world, but a very cute guy. He’s got shiny, styled light brown hair that ends just above his jaw line. He’d just got it done for his girlfriend, Emily, who just happens to be captain of the cheerleading squad. Although he’s not any sports team’s captain, he’s pretty popular, amongst the girls. But we’ve been friends since long before I remember, and he was a total dork, believe me. He’s got contacts now, but when he was in 4th grade, he wasn’t as popular as he is now. He had the short cut like a gentleman’s hair style, nicely put to the right, and he wore polo shirts with ties, and nice black pants. Far from the T-shirts and skinny jeans he wears now for the girls. As for me, I’m Gabrielle Lee Marshall. But call me Elle. I’m a smart, small, and geeky teenager. I wear clear contacts in my pretty lime green eyes and you’ll usually see clips holding back my layered bangs in my long, slightly-layered dark brown hair. I’m usually seen wearing a nice T-shirt, some worn out jeans, and my favorite old, dirty converse shoes. I’m pretty small for my age, which is sixteen almost seventeen, so I can pass as a little twelve year old, which is useful for paying less to get into most restaurants and amusement parks. I swing open the front door, using the key I stole from Dan, and make my way to the kitchen, where I can hear familiar voices. I enter and find Dan making him two sandwiches. On the other side of the room, at the end of the long, tall kitchen table sits Lily. Lily Mae Winters is my other best friend. She’s almost exactly like me, with the same small, fragile, lithe bodies, but she’s much more beautiful. She’s got huge pretty ice blue eyes on her heart-shaped pimple and acne free face, with long, shiny ebony black hair flowing in curls around it. She loves the color black, and that’s basically all she’ll wear. What she usually wears every day is a dark pretty V-cut T-shirt, some black skinny jeans, and gray converse shoes. Lily’s a really loving person. She’s friends with almost everyone, and gives more hugs than the normal person should give every day. She basically has two sides. One side is a caring, loving, graceful Lily. This side, she’s a great listener and gives out great advice. The other side is fierce. Lily can be ruthless, fierce, a fighter, and extremely mysterious if the time comes to bring out that side of her. She took fighting classes from ages 5 to 12. But no one really knows anything else of her history. Lily cut off of her sentence when she noticed me walk into the room. She gave a little squeak of surprise and threw herself at me. I staggered at the weight of her on me, squeezing the life out of me. Then something even heavier hit us on the side, the force knocking me to the ground, with Lily still clung to me. Then we were all on Dan’s kitchen floor, laughing. “Lily, I just saw you this afternoon at school!” I managed to say through all the laughter. “Yeah, but not me!” Dan said dramatically, heaving himself off of them. I giggled and looked at Lily. She was wearing her usual dark shirt and skinny jeans, but was wearing no shoes, only awesome bright socks. She had her hair up in a high ponytail with the usual clips on her growing bangs and her bright lime eyes were shining. Dan, on the other hand, was wearing his light blue bunny pajamas. He had matching fuzzy slippers and around his neck was a thick, warm scarf. I remember that was a Christmas present 6 years ago from his parents. I smiled at the thought. All of our families had come together to Dan’s house that cold day to celebrate Christmas. Lily’s soft voice cut through her reminiscence. “Elle Lee Marshall, why are you staring at Dan while smiling and looking dreamy?” She giggled. I |
| It was interesting. Usually people don't pay much attention to character descriptions, but you almost gave too much too soon. You don't explain who the psychopath is or whether it's the boyfriend. I felt a little confused by this. Use either small or petite--both are redundant. The same goes for the friends. In a different context you can use the synonym. Don't overload the description--keep it spare so the story continues to flow smoothly. |
| More character names!? Okay, I already asked about my main character but I need names for the others too. Friend: 16yrs old. Dirty blonde hair, sporty body, blue/grey eyes. Girl's best friend, like a brother to her and she's like a sister to him. He lives with only his dad as his mum died when he was young. He is an only guy. He helps the girl out a lot. He saves the girl from drowning at one point. Further on in the book they develop feelings for each other. Idea: Richmond (means 'powerful protector'). Nickname would be Ritchie. Mum: Stressed and works long hours. Straight red hair and tired but piercing green eyes. Ideas: Sarah or Anne or Rebecca. Female friend #1: 16yrs old.The main character's cousin and friend. The girl is crazy, whacky and very outgoing. She often ropes the main character into crazy plans. She is always in trouble. She has black hair, olive coloured skin and brown eyes. Ideas: Chrissie, Ebony or Carla. Female friend #2: 16yrs old. Been around, if you know what I mean. She is very attractive (blonde hair, blue eyes and boobs) an she knows it. She's a nice person, not concieted or anything but she does string the boys along. She is known for giving the main character advice on guys. Ideas: Clare, Grace, Melissa. Main character's siblings... Little sister: Is an exact copy of her mum in looks (see above). She is bossy and is 12 years old. Ideas: Bridget or Ashleigh Little brother: 8 and he just wants to have fun. He's always imagining things and playing pretend. He has his dad's brown hair but mum's green eyes. Ideas: Robert 'Robbie' or Lachlan 'Lachie' Twins - Boy and girl - 1 year old. Red hair. Pretty normal babies. Ideas: Charlotte 'Charlie' and Jackson 'Jack'. Older brother: Rough, troubled look. Brown hair and dad's dirty green eyes. Mum's dimples though which give him a sweet look when he smiles, although that isn't often. Gone off the rails since his dad left. Ideas: Daniel 'Dan', Kyle or Gregory 'Greg' You can tell me which idea suits best or suggest your own ideas. Thank you! |
| Friend: I'm not a fan of Richmond, but with the nickname Richie, I guess it's okay. Mom: Rebecca, and old friends call her Becca. Female Friend 1: I love Ebony for this character, it fits really well. Female Friend 2: Grace, just for ironic purposes. Sister: I actually prefer Ashlynne for her. Little Brother: Robert/ Robbie Twins: Ellison (Ellie) and Jackson (Jack) Older Brother: Daniel, not Dan, called Danny by the mom. |
| Old woman throws guys out of house? (A dream)? In this dream, I was in a old, semi-decayed house which was made entirely out of wood. I was in the house with a light-skinned Afro-American woman. I stayed with her to help her take care of guyren, particularly two ebony-skinned guyren. The guyren, a boy and girl, were young guyren, around 9-12 in age. One thing stood out to me about the guys were that they were very dirty and possessed the air of orphans. Yes, one would have thought that they were orphans. I also, for some strange reason, was afraid that those guyren were not entirely good and may do something bad or naughty. I don't know what made me think that, but that was what I sensed in the dream. Anyway, the woman was with us for a while, but then, afterwhile, went away and the next thing I know, we are under care of an old, dark-skinned woman. The woman was an ancient woman with glasses and a white dress with flowers on it. Now if the woman had any dislike for us, she didn't show it to us at all. She was just there with us. So, later on into the evening, I was upstairs, coming downstairs to where the woman was at. I had a huge plate of a whole roasted chicken in my hands. I sat on the stairs and started to eat the chicken, but I could not finish it at all. Much of the chicken was still remaining when I left and continued downstairs. Downstairs, seeing the woman and the guys, I looked outside in the nearby window where I beheld a dirt road that stretched onward in front of our house. On that road was what seemed like a moving procession of poor, dirty, beggarish people. I know not whether the reason or whether there was a reason. Honestly, I have never seen so many street/beggar people in my life and on one road. Then, I saw the old woman talking to the guyren. She made a suggestion to them seeming as if wanting to help them. ( I don't know what, but whatever it was, the guys agreed. So, she took each guy by the hand and kindly walk with them outside. All of the sudden, the old lady letting go of the guyen's hands, ran inside, slammed the door behind her, and shouted out a open nearby window something along the lines of "That's where you all belong". I was shocked. What does this dream mean? |
| Guyren represent dreams. In this case you are nurturing dreams than have grown shabby and worn. the road could be the abandoned dreams of others and this person you trust to help with your dreams is casing tehm aside, for they no longer serve a purpose |
| What should my characters' name be? 1) I'm not very good with finding character's names. Sorry. But I need a name for an Indian girl. She has caramel-colored skin with a long, ebony mane of straight hair that's the color of a raven's wings. She's tall and slender, and she has rosebud lips. 2) My next character has porcelain skin and startling golden eyes. And I don't mean hazel, they're really GOLDEN. No, she's not a vampire. :P She has dirty blonde, wavy hair. Her eyes are her more glorious than anything else, and they're unmistakable. She has a heart-shaped face and cupid's bow lips. She's very daring and loves adventure. She's also... a witch. :) I don't know what to name them. Nothing comes to mind. Please help! Thank you! |
| 1) Aruna, Aisha, Deva, Luna, Naida, Ondine 2) Cymbeline, Kyra Sorry that's all i can think of!! bye! |
| Names for Book characters? HELP!? Okay, well I'm making a book. and I need names for twins. They're psychics, and I only have one's first name-Cadence. So I need: -Female twin name to go with Cadence -Middle and last names for both twins -A punky girl's 1st, middle & last name -Punky girl's brother's 1st, middle, & same last name as Punk girl -Twins' mom, dad, & grandmother's (on the mom's side) names -Two male villians and one female villian's names DESCRIPTIONS (to get a better idea) Twins--- light Blonde,curly hair, short, 15 yrs, pale, one with brown eyes and one with green. one is very outgoing and confident, other is more shy and loves reading. Punky girl---Long 'mahogany' hair, deep brown eyes, olive skin, tall, 19 yrs old, outgoing, weird, Rebel-like, doesn't give up easily. Brother of punk girl---Short spikey mahogany hair, grey eyes, olive skin, 14 yrs, medium height, Shy, doesn't talk much, loves reading, SUPER smart Twin's mom---same as twins, accept shorter dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes, short, 38 yrs, outgoing, confident, easily frightened, caring Twin's dad (dies a quarter of the way into the book) ---Dark hair, sort of tan skin, 40 yrs, tall, Brown eyes, protective, charming, funny Twin's grandma---A bit wrinkly, pale, 'exotic' ebony eyes, greying blonde hair, medium height, 64 yrs old, caring, friendly Woman villian--- Fire read hair, has lots of freckles, Bright green eyes, fairly tan, tall and thin, around 30 yrs old. 'catlike' face. Arrogant, weird, anger management issues. Two male villians---brothers, russet skin, deep black eyes, dark hair, many scars, in their late 30's, muscled, medium height. Quiet, terrifying, Well THERE! that took a while, and it's really long, but I want peopl to understand what the characters are like, instead of a super girly girl named like, Raven or something. Or a goth girl named Lilly, you know? Doesn't make sense, haha. oh! and by the way, I want the twin's names to be older and longer, and NO MATCHY NAME PLEASE! Just so they can go together well. :) everyone else can have more common names. Please and Thank You, Nikki |
| * cadence Marie johnson * valarie rose johnson * alex louise hopkins * daniel thomas hopkins * Alice johnson * Rick johnson * martha williams * aden * emilio * esteban |
| Do you think mj was trying to be white? because 1.) he had white skin and features 2.) his wives were white 3.) two of his guyren were white and he's was an African American. On the other hand it's hard to say he wanted to be white, because one of the things mj perfected in the most- his music, told a whole other story. If mj did not like being black and was a perfectionist and tried to perfect in everything he did, from his music to himself, and again I say did not like being blk, why did his music and dance reflect blk music and dance. The best way to try to understand mj is through his music, because his music doesn't lie. Not only that, most of his or all of his women in his music videos was blk from "thriller” through "you rock my world". And MJ even had a blk guy Brandon Adams play as him in the "bad" vid during the "bad era". MJ even named one of his songs after African decent women- "liberian girl" which was thought about way during the “thriller” days: www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWiDH6p401I&p=603E41412F54F044&playnext=1&index=26, which I believe was referred to all blk decent women, and most certainly not referred to liz taylor because mj wasn't a friend of Liz in 1983, he just dedicated it to her for being a sweet kind supportive person, but the actual song was not about her, mj always dedicate songs to people, Liz wasn't the first one, he dedicated a song that was already created during the “Japan bad tour” to a Japanese boy who died a brutal death. And besides mj had a blk women start the vid and music out on the song “Liberian Girl” because that's what the song was all about african decent women. That's why most of his women in his vids are blk because he loved blk women. HE ONLY MARRIED LISA MARIE TO PROTECT HIS IMAGE; HE USED HER FOR THREE THINGS- 1.) HIS IMAGE 2.) CHILDREN THAT HE COULD CALL THAT COULD BE WITH HIM FULL TIME INSTEAD OF HAVING TEMPORARY PART TIME CHILDREN AROUND, 3.) AND BECAUSE SHE WAS THE KING OF ROCK AND ROLL'S DAUGHTER - AND HE WAS THE KING OF POP: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7YuftxW1d4 And he only married Debbie Rowe for his mother Katherine’s sake because Debbie was 6 months pregnant and his mother did not want mj to have guyren out of wedlock because of her JW belief. Debbie was only a surrogate mother just like blanket's mom. And Debbie was the one who decided to give mj guyren, mj never asked her for guyren. And the reason why his mom never worried about blanket’s mom & mj not being married because at that time she got the point that mj was having guyren naturally which involved sex, but was using surrogacy in giving birth to his guyren which was fine for her JW belief. MJ even stated that he wanted to adopt 2 each of guyren from each continent-which was his dream in the 2002-2003 Martin Bashir interview. Also mj liked Diana Ross so much who is blk that he made a song regarding her in some type of form-"dirty Diana" during the "bad era", and also during the "bad era" he wrote in his "moonwalk" book that his first love was Tatum O’Neal-AFTER Diana, and this was during the "bad era". MJ also stated in his moonwalk book during the "bad era" that he was upset and a little jealous when Diana Ross got married, now if your upset and get a little jealous you must like that person. He even said he wanted to marry DR during a 1982 ebony interview during the "thriller era". Now how could mj like Brooke at the same time and even ask Brooke to marry, because mj never liked brooke like he did diana, he just had her around for publicity and ask her to marry so that their friendship would last forever cause he didn't want to loose her as a friend, Emanual Lewis did the same thing on the webster show to a girl name "charlie": www.youtube.com/results?search_query=webster+knock+knock&aq=f, in which mj probably got that idea from because mj and emanuel were close. MJ liked DR so much that he was still thinking of her ten years later stating in a 1992 personal phone call- Glenda Calls: www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxYbRK0qp2c&p=3FDD6E9A7DE195BA&playnext=1&index=9, that he thought he had a relationship with her but it was only in his mind- and it took him a hell of a long time to get over her in which he really never did. DR was the only non-family member to be included in his will to care for his guyren, that’s how much he loved DR after all those years. No one holds on to a person that long and can't love that person, mj has been married twice and had 3 guyren and still DR was on his mind- DR even got married and had guyren and still MJ had DR on his mind- that’s true love- and she's blk. with all that it's hard to believe he wanted to be white, but you never know what do you think? |
| 1) I'm not reading all that bull. 2) He had a SKIN DISEASE. How many freakin' times do we have to say this before ignorant people like you understand? |
| Does this sound like a good story so far? okay so this is a story i am starting to write. I need some opinions. Its about a 14 year old girl and her mom is an alcoholic. here is what i have so far... Poverty: the state or condition of having little or no money, goods, or means of support; conditions of being poor. The dictionary definition of poverty, but I bet the people who made the dictionary have never had the feeling of poverty. Well, let me tell you, I have, big time. I clutched my notebook tighter against my chest as the wind whirled around me. I was cold and I didn’t have any gloves to keep my hands warm as I tried to not let my book of secrets fly away with the wind. I had to get home, who knows what my mom will be like when she is drunk. She can either be cheery drunk or a mean one. Which every her mood was that morning it was completly opposite when she drunk, and this morning I didn’t know. I walked up the stairs to our two bedroom apartment. Our neighbors, The Bali family, looked out there window to the street when we first pulled up in the parking lot. When I looked up at them, they were looking at our family size. Every new, crappy, place I move to its always only two bedrooms. That’s all my mother can afford and it’s no point in trying at school or anything because we move before the land lord needs money. Stay for 3 weeks, and were off in our car again. When we finally walked up the stairs, three flights, my mom sent Nathaniel and Remington to go get the rest of the bags. The Bali family came out and all greeted us with welcome and said that they would help us move in. my mom politely turned them down; she honestly was embarrassed what was in the boxes, alcohol. I saw the wife, Mrs. Jen Bali, glanced at my mother’s left hand. I saw, every so slightly a shake of her head. She was obviously disgusted. I never thought my mother not being married was a problem. Besides who would want to deal with a woman like my mother will all these guys? I quietly gestured my siblings to go inside. I started unpacking the boxes and Sage, who is twelve, started unpacking another box. Then I handed some objects to Remington, he is ten, and he put them on the few pieces of furniture that the land lord gave us. It was no use in unpacking all the bags when we would be gone again in three weeks or so. “Remington, go put the cots in the bedroom.” I said as I looked at the door, afraid my mom would come in and I would be caught doing something wrong. Remington got one cot. It was about the size of a single bed. We only had three so we pushed them together and about four of us can fit, snug and tight, but we can still sleep. Then we take a pillow from the bed in the master bedroom and a blanket and we switch sleeping on the floor. We all switched, I was always the one who slept on the floor more often because my siblings didn’t need the aching back in the morning. My mother though, of course would never have one of the guys in her room. It would ruin her chances for a boyfriend who, maybe, just maybe, will be the one. Remington came back and grabbed the rest of the cots, when finally he moved the box labeled books and toys to our bedroom. I could see faintly that went to the wall opposite our beds. I finally looked at the apartment, the doors were cracking and the walls needed to be painted. It was pretty dirty and my mom’s cigarette smoke didn’t help. Oh, well, it will do for the short time we will be here. Nathaniel who is only five years old, and he still acts like a baby, held up his arms and I gently picked him up. I put him on my left hip as my mom was just about to blow smoke in his direction. “Hello my baby Nathaniel.” My mom said as she stroked his cheek, then she looked at me. “Honey will you pour me a glass of wine.” When I gave her a look she said in a sweet voice she used for Nathaniel moments earlier. “Please, Ebony, I need one.” She said then she smiled as she put her cigarette back in her mouth. She took a long drag until she released the smoke in the packed apartment. I hesitated in getting her a glass of wanted she wanted. But, it was either now or her complaining and demanding me to get her one later. I put down Nathaniel on the raggedy couch and I put the TV on. I turned it to twenty-three, the nick J.R show. Nathaniel sat up immediately and clapped along with the other guyren on the show. Then, Mae came next to Nathaniel and pulled him in her lap. He looked so big next to Mae who was only eight. She laughed as Nathaniel tried to squirm away. I went into the kitchen where the tile looked like they needed a deep cleaning, this whole place needed a deep cleaning. I got a glass from the cabinet and poured my mom some wine. I filled it up so much it almost fell down the sides. I was about to take a sip so make it not so high, but I then looked at Mae and Nathaniel and instead I poured a little in the sink. “Here, mom,” I said as I went and sat at the two-person table. Mom looked over at |
| So far its a good storyline I would love to see an totally unexpected yet exciting ending with this, and since there are many possible endings, i cant wait to see which one you come up with. The only thing I would think about is the flow. IN some parts i felt like the sents didnt really fit together. Try to make it flow all together. Then itd b perfect :) cant wait to see the rest :) |